I’m bad
I’ve been rather negligent about posting recovery updates over the last few months. Damn, here it is March and I’m still trying to finish February’s update! I started jotting things down several weeks ago, but the time just flies.
This is frustrating for a couple of reasons. One, because, much to my surprise, some folks actually find what I write here helpful and I like to keep them updated. And two, because it’s helpful for me to be able to go back in time and remember how I felt and recall what was working… or not.
Part of the delay stems from being pretty busy. Busy with work, busy with family and, frankly, busy with not paying too much attention to my Lyme. Oh, it’s still there. It sure is, but I’ve been trying not to think about it so much anymore. As a result, writing blog posts about how I feel never quite makes it to the top of the to-do list. I find writing about other things like this and this and especially this more interesting and fulfilling.
But enough already. What’s going on?
Learning to live with it
To tell you the truth, I’ve more or less stopped dreaming of a recovery at this point. Regardless of what the next steps are in treatment, I’ve sort of resigned myself to the fact that I’m not going to see a dramatic turn around in my condition.
I was originally thinking that I was on the five-year plan and that if I toughed it out for that long, I would reach a state of health that I considered satisfactory (if not 100% recovered). I just don’t feel that it’s going to happen anymore and perhaps it’s time to stop dreaming about it everyday.
I know I’ve been off abx for seven months now so I shouldn’t really be expecting any change, but oral antibiotics did little for me when I was on them and the three or four things that I’ve tried recently — modifying my diet, various supplements, a few herbs, etc. — haven’t really been home runs.
I realize this sounds pretty doom and gloom and like I’m giving up, but it’s not like that. I guess I’m just affecting a more realistic approach. Not thrilled with this new tact, but I’m accepting of the situation. I expect that I’ll continue to try various things, but I’m not getting my hopes up anymore.
I guess I’d be less inclined to settle if I was worse-off than I am, but the truth is, I feel pretty good except for the never ending neuro symptoms. Brainfog is still rather pronounced, the tingling in my hands and feet is still there though I hardly notice it and I have a low-level of fatigue. I think a small aspect of the fatigue comes directly from the disease, but most of it comes from the fact that I don’t sleep very well.
Just run with it
Much to my and my LLMD’s confusion, my running and overall fitness continues to improve monthly. In January I ran 19 times for a total of 95 miles and biked once for a total of 18. All of this felt manageable and within my abilities to accomplish without feeling cooked later that day or the next. There were times when I was reeeeally looking forward to my regular Friday rest day, but all-in-all it feels good. I expect a similar level of activity going forward.
One thing that’s really been helping me both with my running and in everyday life is hitting the gym. I only started keeping track of my attendance recently so it’s not indicated in my log, but I’ve been going anywhere from one to three times per week since the beginning of the year. I generally just stretch, do some basic runner’s strength-training, bodyweight-style exercises and some minimal weightlifting. Nothing super intense like lifting to failure or testing my max. It’s all targeted more for endurance than strength and seems to compliment my other activities well.
With all of this coming together, I can’t help but start dreaming of race goals. I’m seriously contemplating setting another half marathon PR in May as well as a couple of other things later in the season. It all sounds absurd, I know, but while it’s true that I’m not running uninhibited by Lyme, what I am doing doesn’t seem to exacerbate my condition or directly effect how I feel day-to-day. Case in point: the 5k I did a couple weeks ago.
Treatment right now
I’m still taking the Samento, SpiroNil and Biotox Elim as well as another trio of detox herbs. They’re manufactured by PEKANA in Germany and target three different areas: apo-HEPAT is for the liver, ITIRES is for the lymphatic system and RENELIX is for the kidneys. I have to admit, since I started taking these, there are days at a time where from the neck down I do feel “better”, but I can’t really put a finger on what’s really improved. Unfortunately, they’ve done nothing for my brain fog.
However, I do get what seems to be some sort of cyclical herxing from this combo. It comes on three or four days after I start (I’ve taken a couple of week-long breaks) and lasts for an additional three to four days. Then approximately every four weeks I feel worse. This is either due to the bugs coming out and being killed by the Samento and SpiroNil or just the bugs coming out and fucking with me. Hard to say.
Treatment going forward
Still on the fence about the IM Bacillin. I have to keep pushing my LLMD appointment out and every time I do I have to wait an additional three weeks to see him so no advancement on that question.
And that’s about all I got for right now. There’s more to talk about, but this is getting lengthy. Stay tuned for March’s update. I’ll probably post it some time in June.
Hope you’re feeling well.
